Tuesday, June 21, 2011

A day in the life of the unemployed me

Summer is here which means most people are out doing their summer jobs and what not. But not me, despite my many valiant efforts I still remain jobless. In fact 3 out of my 6 family members are currently jobless. Granted one of them is only 11 and the other is in South Carolina for basic training, but still, it counts.
So I have decided to record my day yesterday so that those who are employed can see what their alternate life would possibly be like. And mostly because I am bored and this is what I have chosen to occupy my time. Go me!
Sooooooooooo, my day started off with an 11 am wake up call from my mom who was home for lunch. She woke me up by grabbing my hand and freaking the crap out of me and then throwing my mail in my face. She is such a good alarm clock. I then proceeded to have a phone chat with drew about golf, being lost, well him being lost trying to get to golf, and my amazingly awesome and slightly bizarre dream from the night before. 
Then hunger hit me. In order to counter this attack of hunger I opted for the captain crunch, the berry kind, strategy. 2 bowls and a banana later I had won my personal war on hunger and decided it was time to chat with Jamie. AKA Jameson, James Blablames. Yes, I am an excellent nick name giver I know.
We chatted about several things including people and things that annoy us, because lets face it, we are female and their is alot of annoying things/people out there. 
After our chat the inevitable happen. You see, I have this problem with falling, tripping, fainting, into things or with things in my hands that make the act that much more embarrassing/funny. So I get up to get a snack from the kitchen and it happens. You know that feeling you get when you stand up to fast and your eyes go all fuzzy and weird? Well when that happens to me it is usually accompanied by my fainting or completely losing function of my sight and bodily control. In this case it was a little of both. Luckily(?) our full trash can was there to help catch my fall. Who doesn't love falling face first into a pile of week old trash? Thankfully it wasn't exactly face first since my arm got most of the damage, but it was still traumatic. 
The next part of my day was dedicated to brain function and fine motor skills. I like to make sure I keep all parts of my body in tip top shape. So to do this I played black ops on my brothers xbox.
After that there was probably some TV watching, laying on the tramp with my swimsuit, and believe it or not I actually did some reading as well.
Then stacie called me and I took our conversation to the car. First because I feel like sometimes my mom can't help but listen in on my conversations, and second because I hadn't done that yet so I figured it was a nice change up. Stacie told me all about her life having a job and I told her all about mine, also having a job. The job of being swell, duh. We both congratulated each other on jobs well done and said our farewells. She misses me... :)
Then a bunch of other stuff happened and it was night time. My allergies have been freaking out so I took 2 benadryl and laid in bed. It makes me really loopy so before I fell asleep I enjoyed counting my fingers and making remarks to myself on how long and weird looking they are.

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Artist in the making?

Did you ever have one of these when you were younger?
I remember I got one for my birthday and I opened it up and literally freaked out. Like holy crap this is every art supply I have every dreamed of ! Suck it little kid friends, I am going to be an artist with all this great crap.
You sit down at your little art studio, aka the kitchen table, and you get out a fresh piece of computer paper. You are finally ready to create this said masterpiece. Then you grab a marker... it is already dried out. So you grab another one thinking that was just a dud. You are wrong. All the markers are dried out. What is this madness??! Then you decide to go for the crayons. O what? The crayons are absolute crap to!? Of course they are, this isn't crayola we are working with here.
That is when your dreams are shattered. This isn't the ultimate art set. This is a horrible thing in disguise. 
I suppose if you ever want to really disappoint a kid, or just straight up don't like them, and you are evil, then you already have your christmas list planned out now. :)

Monday, June 13, 2011

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Have you ever been walking behind a stranger and they suddenly stop and proceed to back their junk in the trunk up into you?
I have. It was not pleasant. In fact, said stranger was quite large and sweaty and I'm pretty sure they got some of their bum sweat on my leg. Not cool stranger, not cool at all. 
Luckily for me I was carrying a napkin, although some germ-x would have been handy. No one likes a sweaty bum, especially someone else's sweaty butt.
But there is one upside to a hot butt... thats right you guessed it. A sweaty butt usually means hot weather and hot weather means only one thing. SNO CONE SEASON IS HERE!!!!!! My favorite season ummm EVER! Sure, there are some pretty great seasons out there... Hat season, volleyball season, free stuff season. But for some reasons the season of sno cones really calls to me. I suggest everyone go out and enjoy one of these decadent treats. Even if you have a crappy day and you step in dog poop or get hit by a bike, you can still enjoy the magic that is a sno cone.