Got In A Fight With a Hole

..... and I lost. Well actually it was more of a ditch than a hole, but thats neither here nor there. Of course I would be the only person not to realize that there is a 2 foot deep trench dug along the edge of a sidewalk. But in my defense it was pitch black outside with out a street light in view.

I was walking along all casually when I stepped off the sidewalk and BAM! the earth fell out from under me. Or more accuratley, I fell into the earth. 

fatty lil ankle

 It may look like the hole complelety kicked my arse, but I'm sure I left it with a few damages of its own.... maybe.

Luckily Drew's family was armed and ready with oils, hydrogen peroxide, and plenty of pain killers when we got home. 

Hole= 1  Cortney=0   for now

I am lunch lady hear me ROAR!

When I was younger I wanted to be a tornado chaser. To say I was obsessed with twisters is beyond an understatement. From the age of 6 it was my one true passion. I would spend hours watching the weather channel, looking at clouds and chasing storms on my bike. It wasn't even a question whether or not this was what I wanted to be when i grew up. It was a fact.

But things change. Sometimes change smacks you right in the face like a bug on a bike ride. Other times it sneaks up on you.  Slowly so that before you know it, things are different and you can't remember how it was ever any other way. 

Lateley my new mantra has been I got my hair net on and I'm feelin hella cool tonightttttttttttttttttttttttttt.... And lets be honest, I am in no way, shape, or form aspiring to become a lunch lady. But after five days of subbing as one you begin to see the perks. Unlike the horrible image you may have in your mind, being a lunch lady is actually a pretty sweet gig. Help prepare breakfast, serve it, clean up, eat all the food I want, read, make lunch, serve it, clean up, eat even MORE food. Its a never ending cycle of me eating whatever I want whenever I want, and not gonna lie, its fantastic.

And lets be real here, I make one swelllllllll lady of the cafeteria.

If you're happy and you know it

This is what I have decided. 

When I am busy, I am happy. When I have nothing to do but eat cereal and jump on my trampoline for weeks on end then I become sad. Not that I don't enjoy those two activities, but when those are all you do it can leave lots of time to over think every detail of your life. Which is not good.

That is why I have been happy for the past few weeks. I actually have things to do, places to be, and people to see. I have also come to realize that when I think about all the little things that make me happy instead of the things that don't, I am much more likely to have a swell day. And a swell day is something I have been enjoying quite often.

From Barbies to Babies

   I've known my cousin emily since day one of my existence. We may be 9 months apart but growing up we were inseparable. We went through all the awkward phases of life together... Like dressing like boys, having bowl cuts, and playing barbies well past the age that most people stop.

Now, years later, it is no longer our barbies going through marriage and giving birth. Instead we have finally reached that age where those things are happening to us (well mostly to her :) ). 

The short hair has grown out, the teeth have grown in, the toys have been packed away and a new life has been added to the mix. Welcome to the world Wyatt Peter Briggs!

 Crazy how fast things change. We went from playing house and make believe  to having those lives we used to play pretend about! And although he may not appreciate plastic, disproportioned dolls as much as we once did, I know Wyatt is gonna be one heck of a kid.

Congrats to Emily and Shane! you are gonna make swell parents :)

THE END ;)

A day in the life of the unemployed me

Summer is here which means most people are out doing their summer jobs and what not. But not me, despite my many valiant efforts I still remain jobless. In fact 3 out of my 6 family members are currently jobless. Granted one of them is only 11 and the other is in South Carolina for basic training, but still, it counts.

So I have decided to record my day yesterday so that those who are employed can see what their alternate life would possibly be like. And mostly because I am bored and this is what I have chosen to occupy my time. Go me!

Sooooooooooo, my day started off with an 11 am wake up call from my mom who was home for lunch. She woke me up by grabbing my hand and freaking the crap out of me and then throwing my mail in my face. She is such a good alarm clock. I then proceeded to have a phone chat with drew about golf, being lost, well him being lost trying to get to golf, and my amazingly awesome and slightly bizarre dream from the night before. 

Then hunger hit me. In order to counter this attack of hunger I opted for the captain crunch, the berry kind, strategy. 2 bowls and a banana later I had won my personal war on hunger and decided it was time to chat with Jamie. AKA Jameson, James Blablames. Yes, I am an excellent nick name giver I know.

We chatted about several things including people and things that annoy us, because lets face it, we are female and their is alot of annoying things/people out there. 

After our chat the inevitable happen. You see, I have this problem with falling, tripping, fainting, into things or with things in my hands that make the act that much more embarrassing/funny. So I get up to get a snack from the kitchen and it happens. You know that feeling you get when you stand up to fast and your eyes go all fuzzy and weird? Well when that happens to me it is usually accompanied by my fainting or completely losing function of my sight and bodily control. In this case it was a little of both. Luckily(?) our full trash can was there to help catch my fall. Who doesn't love falling face first into a pile of week old trash? Thankfully it wasn't exactly face first since my arm got most of the damage, but it was still traumatic. 

The next part of my day was dedicated to brain function and fine motor skills. I like to make sure I keep all parts of my body in tip top shape. So to do this I played black ops on my brothers xbox.

After that there was probably some TV watching, laying on the tramp with my swimsuit, and believe it or not I actually did some reading as well.

Then stacie called me and I took our conversation to the car. First because I feel like sometimes my mom can't help but listen in on my conversations, and second because I hadn't done that yet so I figured it was a nice change up. Stacie told me all about her life having a job and I told her all about mine, also having a job. The job of being swell, duh. We both congratulated each other on jobs well done and said our farewells. She misses me... :)

Then a bunch of other stuff happened and it was night time. My allergies have been freaking out so I took 2 benadryl and laid in bed. It makes me really loopy so before I fell asleep I enjoyed counting my fingers and making remarks to myself on how long and weird looking they are.

Artist in the making?

Did you ever have one of these when you were younger?

I remember I got one for my birthday and I opened it up and literally freaked out. Like holy crap this is every art supply I have every dreamed of ! Suck it little kid friends, I am going to be an artist with all this great crap.

You sit down at your little art studio, aka the kitchen table, and you get out a fresh piece of computer paper. You are finally ready to create this said masterpiece. Then you grab a marker... it is already dried out. So you grab another one thinking that was just a dud. You are wrong. All the markers are dried out. What is this madness??! Then you decide to go for the crayons. O what? The crayons are absolute crap to!? Of course they are, this isn't crayola we are working with here.

That is when your dreams are shattered. This isn't the ultimate art set. This is a horrible thing in disguise. 

I suppose if you ever want to really disappoint a kid, or just straight up don't like them, and you are evil, then you already have your christmas list planned out now. :)

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Have you ever been walking behind a stranger and they suddenly stop and proceed to back their junk in the trunk up into you?

I have. It was not pleasant. In fact, said stranger was quite large and sweaty and I'm pretty sure they got some of their bum sweat on my leg. Not cool stranger, not cool at all. 

Luckily for me I was carrying a napkin, although some germ-x would have been handy. No one likes a sweaty bum, especially someone else's sweaty butt.

But there is one upside to a hot butt... thats right you guessed it. A sweaty butt usually means hot weather and hot weather means only one thing. SNO CONE SEASON IS HERE!!!!!! My favorite season ummm EVER! Sure, there are some pretty great seasons out there... Hat season, volleyball season, free stuff season. But for some reasons the season of sno cones really calls to me. I suggest everyone go out and enjoy one of these decadent treats. Even if you have a crappy day and you step in dog poop or get hit by a bike, you can still enjoy the magic that is a sno cone.

Sentimental or Hoarder??

I have always had a small problem with keeping things that are either pointless or beyond being able to properly perform their intended service. I mean its not like I am keeping used kleenex or weird crap like that, just random things like a piece of rope or a plastic lobster missing a claw. 

This past weekend I was forced to throw a lot of that stuff out and for the most part it was fairly easy since I was in the zone and just wanted to get done packing. But there was one item that I had some trouble with. My favorite pair of shoes.

I have had them since the summer before my junior year of high school and to say I love them is an understatement. I got these baby's at TJ Max for $10 and I have forced them to last for 6 years. Granted the last year and a half they have developed numerous holes in them but that has not kept me from wearing them nearly everyday. 

I don't know what it is that I love most about them, they are colorful and in my eyes they could go with anything so that was one aspect that kept them on my feet. Even when they developed a large hole down the side that caused my pinky toe to prominently stick out I still wore them as if they were brand new. 

The funny thing is I remember a lot about the day I bought these shoes, partly because it had some fairly interesting events. I went shopping in billings with my two friends Darcy and Maggie and while walking over to TJ Max we decided to put our other bags in to the car. Unfortunately we were not paying enough attention when tossing our bags into the car and locking the doors because it turned out not to be our car. We ended up having to wait for the owner of the car to come out and then awkwardly explain what happened. The funny thing was the car we put our stuff in had a car seat in the back that we put our bags next to and we didn't even notice it. 

So bright we were.

So see keeping the shoes for so long really wasn't all that weird. I mean sure they may have started to smell a little and I was the only person who thought they were awesome, but they were from a day that I like to remember. My days with them may be over but maybe some homeless person will go digging through our trash and fine those rainbow plaid shoes and the legend will live on

Buh-Bye

I love when summer break begins and it actually feels kinda summerish. After an excruciating day of stats finals yesterday where my brain felt like it may pop out of my head and begin teaching others calculations and formulas, I now feel like I can finally rest!! Except for the fact that I have 3 years of my life to pack up, get rid of, and give away. BooL.  It’s crazy to think that in just a few days I’m leaving Alaska for good. I mean sure I might visit, but the place that has been my home for nine months out of the year for 3 years straight has to now say goodbye to me. It must be hard for it, I know it’s hard for me.

                And as much as I tend to complain about how much I don’t like it here and how excited I am to go home, well I’ve kind of lied. There is actually a lot I am going to miss.

My team and our winningness(doesn't matter that it's not a word)

Having a reason to actually go to the gym

Light when it should be sleep time

Seeing moose right outside my house or when I'm walking to school 

My “mom”

Not having a car… hahaha, ok that one’s a lie

And soooo much more

Alaska, you've treated me well but it's time I'm off to slightly more populated areas. Slightly being the keyword here.

Adios!

Whale Talk and Bus Rides

So my post the other day was kind of a downer. I really don’t hate love, just had one of those days where I was feeling overly female ya dig? Unfortunately the other day during class I was feeling overly hungry and my stomach decided to let the whole classroom know. Don’t you hate how the only time stomachs ever growl is during a really quite moment in a room full of people? Mine chose to while a group of classmates were giving a presentation.  It honestly sounded like a whale cry. I could probably go swim in the ocean with a growling stomach and next thing you know there would be a pack of whales just chillin by my side.    

Maybe they will call me whale whisperer and I’ll get my own show on the discovery channel or animal planet.   

Even better I had an AMAZING weekend. Would you like to know why???? It’s because me and drew discovered the beauty that is the Anchorage public transportation system. A.K.A. the city bus.

I know what you’re thinking; there are tons of creepers on the bus! And you’re right, there is. But when you have no car and you are in desperate need of getting out of the house you will do anything. Even if it means getting the death glare from a lady with a baby all because the bus lurched and you almost fell on her. Yeah she hated me.

All in all it was a very successful trip. We ate at Denny’s then went to a movie and even got hot chocolate from starbucks.  We loved it so much in fact that the next day we took the bus again to get lunch J   As much as I dislike creepy people I equally as much have a new appreciation for the bus J If only I had a camera so I could better show all the festivities.

That’ll be my new goal.

Only in Vegas

Despite how creepy and wierd this is its also extremely hilarious in a scary I can't believe someone did that way.
The other day I was on craigslist looking for nanny jobs for the summer. I decided to see what kind of nanny jobs were available in big cities just because I was curious. I typed in Las Vegas and went to the child care section and this is what I found: ( read the whole thing, i promise it will be worth it)

I'd like to temporarily raise a baby/toddler. I know it sounds weird!Date: 2011-04-07, 4:35PM
Ohkay, I want to start by saying I know that my request sounds odd, but PLEASE hear me out.
Well, first, I'm not by any means trying to permanently or legally adopt, take/steal, or receive ANY form of custody of your child.
I'm eighteen years old & I AM trying to do is temporarily "adopt"/temporarily raise/babysit semi-long term (whichever you prefer to call it) your baby. I'd like to continue this for a weekend & for no longer than maybe a week since this is my first time doing this.
I want to do this because I am feeling kind of clingy or lonely, & I want a baby badly. There were two incidents in my life that prevented my from having a baby since I was seventeen, & I really don't want to try & fail a third time. What I'm looking for is the company & the experience of a raising a baby.
I don't want to give away too much personal information here, but as the parent you have every right to want to know everything you want about me. We will definitely e-mail, talk on the phone, text, meet in person, or whatever it is you want to do to make sure you feel comfortable with me handling your child.
I'm eighteen, like I said & I am a girl. I'm a college student studying English & Basic Nursing.
I attend one of the College of Southern Nevada campuses & it does have on-campus childcare. You baby will not be abandoned or left alone while I am in class. If you do not want your child there I completely understand, but my mother would have to watch your child until I get home. Regardless if she's hone with her or at my college in childcare, your child will always be safe & taken care of by a trusted & experienced adult.
I do have a job & I do have money in both my Checking & Savings accounts, so please don't be worried about your baby not receiving any new clothes, toys, accessories or being fed. I'm asking to keep your baby for a little while, so I will be the one buying diapers, clothing, providing food & making sure the baby is cared for at all times.
I do go out to eat dinner, walk around the mall, shop, take walks & the like, but I do not party, let anybody inside my house, drink alcohol (I don't even drink soda), smoke cigarettes/Blacks/pot, etc. so you can be assured knowing that I'll always be in my "right" mind while I have possession of your child. I will take care of & treat the baby as if my own. If you don't feel comfortable with your child being in grocery stores, malls/stores, around other people, please let me know in advance & I will respect your wishes.
I will keep you up-to-date through texting, e-mail or telephone calls& let you know how we're both doing, where we went, how our day was & let you know everything else that you have to ask. If you for any reason want or need to take your child from me earlier than anticipated, I will of course give them back with no questions asked.
All I'm asking is for your trust, time, your patience & a chance. I'd really like to experience & learn what it takes & how it is to be a mother. I know it won't be a easy, but I'm honestly willing to try. I'm not going to lie to you & pretend I know exactly how to take care of a child, but if I do need help, I will call you or ask my mother. You baby don't be my "test" & I don't put them in danger. If I don't know how to do something or if I become nervous, I'll ask for help. I do have an experienced mother in the house, so an older adult is always around. I do also have magazines/books/pamphlets about children & parenting in my bedroom.
What I ask for:
1. Their own crib if they sleep in one (unless you trust them in the bed beside me)
2. Their own car seat/booster seat
3. Their own stroller (if you don't have one, it's not a problem)
4. As many clothes/outfits as you want or need to provide
5. Their own bottles (unless you want me to purchase them)
6. That the baby not be under thirty days old (newborn), or over the age of maybe three
7. Only ONE child, please
NOTE: Anything like clothes, toys, blankets, etc. purchased by me will be given to you to take home when I return your child :)
I will provide my full name, cell phone number, pictures, tell you my story/background & more information upon request.
I assume we'd meet in a public place before allowing me to take your child home, & that's fine with me!

Location: Summerlin
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
Original URL: http://lasvegas.craigslist.org/kid/2311790510.html



HOW RANDOMLY CREEPY IS THAT!!!
Extremely? I thought so to.
The real question is did anyone reply to it?
Buhh Buhh Bummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Giving Thanks..... in April

I saw the most bizarre person while on the shuttle today.  There has not been very many sunny days lately, being that I’m in Alaska and all, but today was unusually warm and sunny. Now I am just as happy and thankful and everything as the next person, but the chick I saw today seemed to really want to express her thanks to errr mother nature?  

The shuttle pulls up to the admin and I look out to see a girl on her knees doing what I could only assume was crying because she fell. I was really off base on that one. Turns out she was crying out of sheer happiness and joy while thanking the sky and earth for blessing us with a beautiful day. I only know this because she got on the shuttle a minute later and explained to the person she sat by what she was doing.

I REALLLLLYYYY wish everyone could have seen this. I mean of course I am super happy its sunny and nice out but I simply wore my flip flops in appreciation. I am happy that this surprisingly nice day could make this random girl so happy she cried, and everyone else so happy that they had normal reactions like wearing shorts and going without a sweater. Let’s just hope this girl did enough thanking and crying to make the weather good all week J

48°F                         

Feels like 46°

Mostly Sunny

 

 

Welcome to the Gun Show

I was feeling really motivated today. So motivated in fact that I decided I wanted to work out. I even wore my workout clothes under my sweats and planned out my day perfectly so I would have just enough time to get the heart pumping.

Unfortunately I was not as motivated as I originally thought I was. When it came time to work out I was still feeling all ready to go but not so ready that I was willing to go to the gym.

So instead my workout for the day consisted of me doing abs on my bedroom floor while Jamie played me music and then doing lunges in circles around my living room while waiting for my waffles to pop. I mean at least I did something right? Perhaps not gold star material but who knows, maybe I’m just a super human and the smallest workout will produce a super buff me.

                  Next thing you know I’ll be lifting up cars and throwin them around no problem.

HP

I found this quote picture thing today:

Does this mean I'm going to be a wizard?

Laserrrrrrrrrrrrr

I hate when I’m trying to sleep and I close my eyes and it looks like a freakin laser show in my eyelids. It’s like the tighter I close them the brighter the little lasers get. I swear it’s darker when my eyes are open.

                                                                     Close my eyes I see this

Then I open them back up and what do I see?

                                                                     Ummm nothing because it’s nighttime and dark…

How am I supposed to sleep with this madness in my eyes?!

This is a serious problem here people. I have a show going on right in front of me and granted I don’t have to pay for it, but why does it only happen when I need complete darkness?? 

I just watched a laser show on youtube. It was not nearly as good as the one that my eyes create. Maybe it's not that bad after all. Maybe...

ouch

I fell today. Hard.

You see when short people fall it’s not that big of a deal. They’re walking, and let’s be honest, they are already practically at ground level to begin with, so when they do take the plunge no one really notices. `     

            O look a short person fell… or did they? You can’t really tell.

But when I fall you notice. Everyone notices. When a tall person falls there is nothing graceful or quick about it. It’s like when the jenga tower finally breaks. Everyone sees it coming and they watch as if it’s happening in slow motion. And when the pieces finally hit the ground after their long decent everyone jumps back, startled as if they weren’t expecting this outcome. You see a tall person start to trip and you just know the ending is going to be brutal. I mean lets be serious, there is a long way between my head and the ground.

And being me, I of course fell when a large group of people were waiting for the same shuttle as me. How did everyone else make it past that invisible crack that rose 2 feet out of the ground? Because I rammed right into that thing and there was no looking back. Boom. Down I went. Just like in Jenga, except worse. You know, because I’m human.

Sneezing, how you perplex me

I once read somewhere that sneezing is the 2nd most satisfying feeling the body produces, the first being an orgasm (pretty sure I read it in comso). Doesn't it seem funny that something as simple as expelling air through your nose and mouth can earn such a high spot on our feel good list? I once sneezed 4 times in a row and not gonna lie, it felt pretty freakin good. Whenever someone else sneezes I always try to inform them of this great news. Hey! did you know you just experianced the second best feeling ever? And sure they may look at me like I'm crazy but I know in their mind they are thinking, wow that did feel pretty good, like a definite #2 good, I wanna do it agian. And they usually do.
     sneezing is funny.
Achoooo....
     bless you :)