Got In A Fight With a Hole

..... and I lost. Well actually it was more of a ditch than a hole, but thats neither here nor there. Of course I would be the only person not to realize that there is a 2 foot deep trench dug along the edge of a sidewalk. But in my defense it was pitch black outside with out a street light in view.

I was walking along all casually when I stepped off the sidewalk and BAM! the earth fell out from under me. Or more accuratley, I fell into the earth. 

fatty lil ankle

 It may look like the hole complelety kicked my arse, but I'm sure I left it with a few damages of its own.... maybe.

Luckily Drew's family was armed and ready with oils, hydrogen peroxide, and plenty of pain killers when we got home. 

Hole= 1  Cortney=0   for now

I am lunch lady hear me ROAR!

When I was younger I wanted to be a tornado chaser. To say I was obsessed with twisters is beyond an understatement. From the age of 6 it was my one true passion. I would spend hours watching the weather channel, looking at clouds and chasing storms on my bike. It wasn't even a question whether or not this was what I wanted to be when i grew up. It was a fact.

But things change. Sometimes change smacks you right in the face like a bug on a bike ride. Other times it sneaks up on you.  Slowly so that before you know it, things are different and you can't remember how it was ever any other way. 

Lateley my new mantra has been I got my hair net on and I'm feelin hella cool tonightttttttttttttttttttttttttt.... And lets be honest, I am in no way, shape, or form aspiring to become a lunch lady. But after five days of subbing as one you begin to see the perks. Unlike the horrible image you may have in your mind, being a lunch lady is actually a pretty sweet gig. Help prepare breakfast, serve it, clean up, eat all the food I want, read, make lunch, serve it, clean up, eat even MORE food. Its a never ending cycle of me eating whatever I want whenever I want, and not gonna lie, its fantastic.

And lets be real here, I make one swelllllllll lady of the cafeteria.

If you're happy and you know it

This is what I have decided. 

When I am busy, I am happy. When I have nothing to do but eat cereal and jump on my trampoline for weeks on end then I become sad. Not that I don't enjoy those two activities, but when those are all you do it can leave lots of time to over think every detail of your life. Which is not good.

That is why I have been happy for the past few weeks. I actually have things to do, places to be, and people to see. I have also come to realize that when I think about all the little things that make me happy instead of the things that don't, I am much more likely to have a swell day. And a swell day is something I have been enjoying quite often.

From Barbies to Babies

   I've known my cousin emily since day one of my existence. We may be 9 months apart but growing up we were inseparable. We went through all the awkward phases of life together... Like dressing like boys, having bowl cuts, and playing barbies well past the age that most people stop.

Now, years later, it is no longer our barbies going through marriage and giving birth. Instead we have finally reached that age where those things are happening to us (well mostly to her :) ). 

The short hair has grown out, the teeth have grown in, the toys have been packed away and a new life has been added to the mix. Welcome to the world Wyatt Peter Briggs!

 Crazy how fast things change. We went from playing house and make believe  to having those lives we used to play pretend about! And although he may not appreciate plastic, disproportioned dolls as much as we once did, I know Wyatt is gonna be one heck of a kid.

Congrats to Emily and Shane! you are gonna make swell parents :)

THE END ;)

A day in the life of the unemployed me

Summer is here which means most people are out doing their summer jobs and what not. But not me, despite my many valiant efforts I still remain jobless. In fact 3 out of my 6 family members are currently jobless. Granted one of them is only 11 and the other is in South Carolina for basic training, but still, it counts.

So I have decided to record my day yesterday so that those who are employed can see what their alternate life would possibly be like. And mostly because I am bored and this is what I have chosen to occupy my time. Go me!

Sooooooooooo, my day started off with an 11 am wake up call from my mom who was home for lunch. She woke me up by grabbing my hand and freaking the crap out of me and then throwing my mail in my face. She is such a good alarm clock. I then proceeded to have a phone chat with drew about golf, being lost, well him being lost trying to get to golf, and my amazingly awesome and slightly bizarre dream from the night before. 

Then hunger hit me. In order to counter this attack of hunger I opted for the captain crunch, the berry kind, strategy. 2 bowls and a banana later I had won my personal war on hunger and decided it was time to chat with Jamie. AKA Jameson, James Blablames. Yes, I am an excellent nick name giver I know.

We chatted about several things including people and things that annoy us, because lets face it, we are female and their is alot of annoying things/people out there. 

After our chat the inevitable happen. You see, I have this problem with falling, tripping, fainting, into things or with things in my hands that make the act that much more embarrassing/funny. So I get up to get a snack from the kitchen and it happens. You know that feeling you get when you stand up to fast and your eyes go all fuzzy and weird? Well when that happens to me it is usually accompanied by my fainting or completely losing function of my sight and bodily control. In this case it was a little of both. Luckily(?) our full trash can was there to help catch my fall. Who doesn't love falling face first into a pile of week old trash? Thankfully it wasn't exactly face first since my arm got most of the damage, but it was still traumatic. 

The next part of my day was dedicated to brain function and fine motor skills. I like to make sure I keep all parts of my body in tip top shape. So to do this I played black ops on my brothers xbox.

After that there was probably some TV watching, laying on the tramp with my swimsuit, and believe it or not I actually did some reading as well.

Then stacie called me and I took our conversation to the car. First because I feel like sometimes my mom can't help but listen in on my conversations, and second because I hadn't done that yet so I figured it was a nice change up. Stacie told me all about her life having a job and I told her all about mine, also having a job. The job of being swell, duh. We both congratulated each other on jobs well done and said our farewells. She misses me... :)

Then a bunch of other stuff happened and it was night time. My allergies have been freaking out so I took 2 benadryl and laid in bed. It makes me really loopy so before I fell asleep I enjoyed counting my fingers and making remarks to myself on how long and weird looking they are.

Artist in the making?

Did you ever have one of these when you were younger?

I remember I got one for my birthday and I opened it up and literally freaked out. Like holy crap this is every art supply I have every dreamed of ! Suck it little kid friends, I am going to be an artist with all this great crap.

You sit down at your little art studio, aka the kitchen table, and you get out a fresh piece of computer paper. You are finally ready to create this said masterpiece. Then you grab a marker... it is already dried out. So you grab another one thinking that was just a dud. You are wrong. All the markers are dried out. What is this madness??! Then you decide to go for the crayons. O what? The crayons are absolute crap to!? Of course they are, this isn't crayola we are working with here.

That is when your dreams are shattered. This isn't the ultimate art set. This is a horrible thing in disguise. 

I suppose if you ever want to really disappoint a kid, or just straight up don't like them, and you are evil, then you already have your christmas list planned out now. :)

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

Have you ever been walking behind a stranger and they suddenly stop and proceed to back their junk in the trunk up into you?

I have. It was not pleasant. In fact, said stranger was quite large and sweaty and I'm pretty sure they got some of their bum sweat on my leg. Not cool stranger, not cool at all. 

Luckily for me I was carrying a napkin, although some germ-x would have been handy. No one likes a sweaty bum, especially someone else's sweaty butt.

But there is one upside to a hot butt... thats right you guessed it. A sweaty butt usually means hot weather and hot weather means only one thing. SNO CONE SEASON IS HERE!!!!!! My favorite season ummm EVER! Sure, there are some pretty great seasons out there... Hat season, volleyball season, free stuff season. But for some reasons the season of sno cones really calls to me. I suggest everyone go out and enjoy one of these decadent treats. Even if you have a crappy day and you step in dog poop or get hit by a bike, you can still enjoy the magic that is a sno cone.